As a young girl I was told I could do anything! Nothing was impossible! I could do and be anything I wanted to be!! I remember asking President? and told YES! I also remember a sly smile from Daddy indicating his happiness of my line of thinking!
I am sure a mere country girl from the 1960’s was not expected by her truly hard working parents and grandparents to achieve presidency …My Grandpa Delk was all ways interested in politics and encouraged my interests as well…But I took a different road…One of Building Contractor, Real Estate Developer, Real Estate Agent (Broker) , Sawmill operator/owner…this all after a short time at the local community college studying Interior Design…
I still remember sitting on the milking stool in the Milking Parlor of my Grandparents dairy early in the morning at the tender age of 3… hearing Frank Sinatra sing ” New York, New York ” and ” I Did It My Way” …Little did anyone guess the influence this would have on my mind and spirit.
I believe as the Bible states we are knit together in our Mother’s wombs by God. He designs us and puts in us what we are to be and all we need to be ! But… it is our Journey… and our Choices…good and bad that make us into his image or not…God in His wisdom and foreknowledge has us in the palm of His big hand! Keeps us safe when by all the world’s reasoning and our own… we should not have been…
In many families there is one chosen by birth, looks, smarts, or just a favorite child…to be the matriarch or patriarch of the family. That child is groomed for the job…My Grandma chose me…this was to be my job…but one I gave up for many reasons…none worth telling…Just know it was not a job I gave up lightly… remember how the Bible tells the story of Abraham and his father and how God called Abraham’s father first. He called him out! From all they knew and were comfortable with into a land they were yet to know…With only a promise! Remember that Abraham’s father stayed along the way…and it took Abraham a while to move on to the Promised Land…I too was called out… from birth. (I am still working on what exactly) I was taught I could do anything! And I believe it! I was also knitted with a independent, strong willed, spirit. Hard headed ! It has been a hard road, still is… for me to know when I am being just willful and in The Will of God…
I loved my Daddy with all my heart he was to me everything…The person that I wanted to be like…to please, (I suspect he thought different) to show how smart I was…To prove I could do anything! On that road I took many paths some good some not so…
When Daddy died in 1990, at the age of 53 … my life, my will…ended! when they took him out the front doors of Piney Grove… and to the grave yard. I remember the weakness in my feet and legs and my spirit to this day. I was broken, done! Everything gone…No reason to go on doing anything.
I see now how I had needed Daddy …to one up if I could! Or impress ! We we were in some sort of competition. I believe we both knew this .
Daddy took care of my Mother, brother, and Daddy’s grading business in his death. He told me it was unfair to me…I said it was okay…! I knew how to make a living…but it was unfair! and I knew it was…the pain at the core of my soul screamed. But Daddy was right…in ways neither of us ever dreamed at that time.
I remember what I wanted to hear from him was how proud he was of me…I waited for it…and words of wisdom…They never came…oh the pain the unfairness of it all! But in reality he was very sick very fast and had issues of his own to deal with.
This was the hardest for me…because I did not feel or see Daddy’s love and care for me, like many of his generation he was not free with those precious words. “I love you, I am proud of you.” We were suppose to KNOW THAT! DUH! 🙂
But GOD in His Wisdom…knew exactly what I needed! He had been sending His Prevenient grace and finally His Saving grace my way! OFF! On a new journey! Prepared in so many ways! Yet unknown to me at that time.
God gave me the gift of choosing my way of life…as He does everyone. And that strong will…and yet a tenderness that most would be surprised by…
Today Preacher Bob Chaney delivered his message on Hope…Today I saw it all so clear… The hope for healing, my spirit, my soul received it today. Praise God!
The jealousy, envy, the pain GONE!
The healing love of GOD ACCEPTED!
I am so thankful that I have the strength and desire to make my own choices…God knit me well…
Thank you Lord for that by pass ! What a blessing it is for many…most of all for what it means to me! Your sign…I am looking forward to the rest of life and living where Honesty, Integrity, love, peace, now abound…
Amazing Grace! How Sweet the sound! You saved a wretch like me! My chains are broken! My heart is set free. Free to love everyone! Even the ones that challenge me! 🙂 Signs, by passes and all! I once was blind and lost but now I am found and see clearly. Amazing Grace!
