Sitting here in my swing…thinking about my life so far…the decisions I have made…the good the bad… the success, the growing I have done…from it all…my sweet Piney Grove UMC and all the good people that played a part in teaching me The Way…
I smile slightly thinking…yes… I know…some answers to my life mysteries…how easy and peaceful I have become…
My face tells some of my life…the hard times the struggles to find my way..”The Journey” the fun I have doing the things I love with the people I love and like! The lines and crinkles from laughing and loving, and yes a few from the pain…
When I was a girl I struggled with life, with living, with not liking myself or anything! With the friends and yes men that hurt me…one night I hated everything so much as I flew down the country road I wrecked my car, I remember thinking I don’t care if I die! (Thank GOD in Heaven HE still had plans for my life)
Then one day I learned I could only be hurt if I allowed it…An Interesting concept! how there is redemption even for me…How God has had a plan…And how I went my way…Maybe I still do??? I wanted to do it all, to go to New York City (I liked that song :” I did It My Way ” and “New York, New York”! as I sat in a small dairy barn watching cows be milked…It was smelly, cold in winter and hot in summer…and the same thing over and over…I wanted glamour, fame, fortune…Sadly at that time I had not a clue I had it ALL… LOVE, kindness, faith, honor, honesty, family, everything, fresh air, food, and yet I was unhappy, lonely, felt unloved or even wanted…How confused I was!
I entertained a local 4 H Group at my farm today… Oddly all this came to my mind…The young people 8 to 15 so full of promise, everything before them…I pray they will find their way…
As I have found mine …for me it is a life on a small farm! Raising sheep, training dogs, occasionally speaking when asked at local churches…taking care of what God has blessed me with…and He is so good…He has healed my heart, my pain, my suffering, my everything! and honestly I can’t remember most of what was bad…it is in His Sea of Forgetfulness. And that is where it belongs and will stay…
My life evolves around this farm…I look at my hands and I see my Grandma… I look thru my eyes and I see my Grandpa…as I work to my best ability I know the heart of my Daddy, and I find empathy and understanding of my truly sweet good Mama!
God has used my sheep and my dogs to show me how to forgive and forget and move on and it is not all about me!
Yes…A sweet easy peaceful feeling…it is a good place to be…
No I never went to New York! No desire!!!:-)
